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The Minister and The Crackerhead: Round 1

Posted by Jerry E Beuterbaugh Labels: ,



INTRODUCTION
The Minister and The Crackerhead is about a fictitious encounter between a more devoutly religious person (The Minister) and myself (The Crackerhead) based upon true events.  Now, there is much about it that may appear to be rather cryptic at times, but this is not the way it is meant to be.  For our Heavenly Father is well-pleased to personally reveal what is actually being said—even to those who do not care to know and understand, and the reference verses given provide written confirmation of that.

The Minister: “GOOD MORNING!”

The Crackerhead: “Mornin’.”

The Minster: “Perhaps better for some than others?”

The Crackerhead: “Perhaps.”

The Minister: “Come on now.  Surely this is a day that the Lord has made for us to rejoice and be glad in—especially after the kind of winter that we have just endured
[Psalms 118:24].”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, this is certainly a day that our Heavenly Father has made, and I really do appreciate it being such a beautiful one.  In fact, more than most—be assured.  For I have been afflicted with rather poor health for quite some time now
[Ecclesiastes 1:18].”

The Minister: “But?”

The Crackerhead: “There is more than just the weather to consider
[Colossians 3:2].”

The Minister: “Yes, I suppose there is, and from what I’ve heard, you’ve had an awful lot on your mind.”

The Crackerhead: “Really?”

The Minister: “Some have even gone as far as to say that you claim to know what the true meaning of life is.”

The Crackerhead: “Whoa, what all did they say?”

The Minster: “That was about it.”

The Crackerhead: “Well, at least it is something.”

The Minister: “You sound surprised.”

The Crackerhead: “To put it mildly.”

The Minister: “What?  Isn’t it true?”

The Crackerhead: “True enough.”

The Minister: “So, what’s with the surprise?”

The Crackerhead: “That you have heard anything at all about what I have been given to say.”

The Minister: “I don’t understand.”

The Crackerhead: “It has to do with feeling like I have been almost completely trapped in a vacuum.”

The Minister: “A vacuum?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, a vacuum.  For it has been as if nothing had been said at all almost every time I have tried to speak to someone about some part of it.”

The Minister: “In space, no one can hear you scream?”

The Crackerhead: “Something like that.”

The Minister: “In other words, you haven’t received the kind of response that you feel like you deserve to.”

The Crackerhead: “It has nothing to do with being deserving.”

The Minister: “But it has been very upsetting to you—right?”

The Crackerhead: “Much to my chagrin, I must admit that it has felt much more like a curse than the great blessing that I know it is
[Galatians 2:2].”

The Minster: “What credentials do you have to present?”

The Crackerhead: “None that would be recognizable in the eyes of this world as qualifying me to speak with any authority about anything truly meaningful
[John 16:1-3].”

The Minister: “Wow, that was some answer.  Just how long have you have been working on it?”

The Crackerhead: “It has been with me for a while.”

The Minister: “And yet you still expect to be heard.”

The Crackerhead: “It is the message that needs to be heard.”

The Minister: “You must be an only child.”

The Crackerhead: “No, I have a younger brother.”

The Minister: “And I bet you are still very resentful of losing the full attention of your parents after he came along.”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that I would have greatly appreciated losing a lot more of their attention than I did at the time.  For they were very strict, but my attitude towards them has been softened considerably since
[Colossians 3:20].”

The Minister: “It’s not easy raising a problem child.”

The Crackerhead: “No, it is not, but they did as good of a job as they could
[Proverbs 23:13-14].”

The Minister: “Did they happen to mention something or another about it being better to not say anything at all whenever you feel like you can’t say anything nice
[Proverbs 12:18]?”

The Crackerhead: “They did.”

The Minister: “Couldn’t that explain a lot?”

The Crackerhead: “A lot more than what most are willing to even consider—let alone actually accept.  For what could be nicer than trying to help someone find the error of their ways before it is too late
[Galatians 6:1-2]?”

The Minister: “Too late for what?”

The Crackerhead: “Eternal damnation
[Ezekiel 18:4].”

The Minister: “Who said anything about that?”

The Crackerhead: “Almost everyone I have met with so far.”

The Minister: “And they have actually said as much?”

The Crackerhead: “Not directly.”

The Minister: “You must’ve missed the lesson on what happens when you assume things.”

The Crackerhead: “The depths of the silence that surrounds me testifies quite loudly to there being a great consensus of opinion
[Matthew 7:15-20].”

The Minister: “Nothing like having a flair for the dramatic.”

The Crackerhead: “Matters of eternal spiritual life and eternal spiritual death are quite dramatic.”

The Minister: “And with such an active imagination added to the mix, deeply disturbed hardly seems like an adequate diagnosis.”

The Crackerhead: “All the more of a reason for why what I have been given to say compels a response.”

The Minister: “Everyone would be a lot better off if they just focused all of their attention upon taking care of their own business.”

The Crackerhead: “If depraved indifference can be accepted as being a criminal offense in the eyes of this world, how much more must it be an abomination in the eyes of our Heavenly Father
[James 4:17]?”

The Minister: “It is written: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him
[Proverbs 26:4 KJV].”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, that would be Proverbs 26:4 in the King James 1611 Authorized Version of our Heavenly Father’s Holy Bible (KJV), and the meaning certainly appears to be quite clear.  That is, until you come to the very next verse in that very same version.  For it is also written: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit
[Proverbs 26:5 KJV].”

The Minister: “What are you getting at?”

The Crackerhead: “That the passage is meant to encourage as many as will to want to deal with those who have been deceived with foolish ideas—just not on their lowered level
[2 Timothy 2:24-26].”

The Minister: “Anyone can get the Bible to support their own agendas if they are willing to twist things out of context enough
[2 Timothy 4:2-4]!”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, that is all too painfully true, but one would be hard pressed to misuse the meaning of James 5:19-20.  That is, at least not in regards to its encouragement of our desires to be of help to those in need.  For it is written: Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins
[James 5:19-20 KJV].”

The Minister: “How can you be so sure that others believe that you are in error?”

The Crackerhead: “Well, if anything about what I have been given to say was considered to truly be of our Heavenly Father, would not anyone in their right-mind want to know and understand everything that they possibly could about it?”

The Minister: “Do you have any idea just how many there are out there claiming to have special messages from God?”

The Crackerhead: “Far too many, but does this preclude anyone from actually having such a wonder
[Acts 17:11]?”

The Minister: “For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book
[Revelation 22:18-19 KJV].”

The Crackerhead: “What about the two witnesses who will come during the time of the antichrist
[Revelation 11:3-12]?”

The Minister: “What about them?”

The Crackerhead: “Will not what they are given to say truly be of our Heavenly Father?”

The Minister: “Absolutely, but there will not be anything about it that will add anything to, nor take anything away from, what we have been already given in His Word!”

The Crackerhead: “Neither is there anything about what I have been given to say meant to add anything to, nor take anything away from, what we have been already given
[Ecclesiastes 12:11].”

The Minister: “Maybe you’ve just not met the right people?  Not everyone is equipped to handle such things—don’t you know?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, not everything about what I have been given to say is meant for everybody at this time
[1 Corinthians 3:1-4].  In fact, it will not be until the time for the reign of the antichrist before it will be fully appreciated.  Nonetheless, there is really no excuse for how much what I have been given to say has been ignored—albeit only in regards to sincere offers of help.  For it is meant for the more spiritually mature, and a lot of my attempted contacts have been with many of the most highly respected leaders of the American Christian community [Hebrews 5:11-14].”

The Minister: “Such as?”

The Crackerhead: “Heads of different denominations and independent ministries
[Acts 17:1-2].”

The Minister: “But those are some very busy people!”

The Crackerhead: “Undoubtedly.”

The Minister: “Come on now, surely you can’t expect them to put all of the stuff that they are doing on hold just so they can minister to little ol’ you?”

The Crackerhead: “Whatever expectations I may have are irrelevant.”

The Minister: “I suppose it is God who expects this of them?”

The Crackerhead: “It is actually much more of a desire of His than any sort of expectation.  For He already knows who will and who won’t
[Luke 16:15].”

The Minister: “Okay, I stand corrected, but I am also still waiting on an answer.”

The Crackerhead: “Is this not what the parable of shepherd with the hundred sheep is all about
[Luke 15:1-7]?  For a good shepherd will go after individually lost sheep—even if it requires leaving the flock behind for the time being.  In all fairness, however, just a tempered relationship with one of their staff, or a trusted member of their congregation, would be plenty good enough at first.”

The Minister: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

The Crackerhead: “What about yourself?”

The Minister: “What about me?”

The Crackerhead: “Can you honestly say that you are not the least bit curious about what I have been given to say about anything?”

The Minister: “My head is starting to really hurt.”

The Crackerhead: “Perhaps a little break would help.”


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2 comments:

  1. Rob

    Hey Jerry, finally getting around to getting caught up on these after all the chaos lately. I think the format definitely takes an interesting change here, and I like the screenplay-format feel to the dialogue (although the Minister here does seem to be a little bit cheeky in some of his attitudes. As a councilor, I'd expect a minister to not be as aggressively engaging, but maybe that's just me.)
    In a strange way, you post reminds me of some imaginary dialog I posted recently on my site with me and Steven Spielberg (the difference being that my conversation is pure nonsense, and your conversation offers a lot more substance to think about)

  1. FishHawk

    Thanks for stopping by again, my dear Rob!!! Yes, some of the dialogue given to "The Minister" was spiced-up a bit for comedic affect, but it is really not that far off from what I have actually experienced. A good example of that was when I handed a copy of "Out of Darkness" to a very famous leader of the Word-Faith Movement several years ago, and after he skimmed over the first page, he handed it back to me and said that the first thing I should do is find someone who could write. By the way, I have started posting real engagements like this every Saturday on AsTheCrackerheadCrumbles, and the only thing that has been changed is a little of the dialogue to serve as some protection for both the innocent and the guilty. In Real M'n'C - V, you will see some very spicey dialogue that is not at all made up, and the same can be said for several others.

    http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2010/05/real-mnc-v.html