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The Minister and The Crackerhead: Round 5

Posted by Jerry E Beuterbaugh Labels: ,

The Crackerhead: “Feeling any better?”

The Minister: “I’ll sure be glad when this is over with.”

The Crackerhead: “We’re getting there.”

The Minister: “It’s hard to imagine Him creating people whom He knew would break His heart.  That is, if that is really the way it is, of course.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, since none of us would purposely subject ourselves to all that our Heavenly Father truly has, it is naturally incomprehensible to us that the Creator of all that exists apart from Himself would, but unless we are willing to doubt that He truly is perfect in all of His most awesome ways (Holy and Righteous)
[Psalms 18:30-31], it must be accepted that He knows what He is doing, and that it will be as it should be in the end [Job 34:12-15].”

The Minister: “I’ve heard it taught that He created the damned to make the blessed better appreciate their position.”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that our Heavenly Father has never wanted to see the loss of even one soul
[Ezekiel 18:32].”

The Minister: “But isn’t there something in the Bible that implies that He did create some for destruction?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, and I have been made well aware of just how easily it could be interpreted to say as much.  For it is written: What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction?  What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory?
[Romans 9:22-23 NIV].  Nonetheless, be assured that what is being said through the Apostle Paul is meant to be a rhetorical question about a hypothetical situation [Romans 9:14-16].  Besides, who from amongst us is qualified to judge what our Heavenly Father does with what He has created for His own good pleasure [Romans 11:33-36]?”

The Minister: “What would you say to those who believe in reincarnation?”

The Crackerhead: “That if it was really necessary to perfect ourselves before moving on to some higher plain of existence that there would be good reason to want to believe in reincarnation.  For it would provide us with a lot more opportunities to do what needed to be done, but since it is not necessary to perfect anything about ourselves, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to spend any more time as a part of this world than what our Heavenly Father wants them to.”

The Minister: “Spending more time with our loved ones would be nice.”

The Crackerhead: “Is it not taught that reincarnated souls are generally cast(e) into completely different circumstances, and that they rarely remember anything about their past lives?”

The Minister: “Maybe so, but I was also talking about in our normal lives.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, that is a very special sentiment, but since even the most wonderful of lives recognizable in the eyes of this world is absolutely hideous in comparison to the least of lives in our Heavenly Father’s Kingdom of Heaven, I would hope that no one who truly loved another would want them to stick around any longer that they absolutely had to.  Besides, we will have all of eternity to spend with our loved ones in glory.  That is, unless some of them do not want to be a part of His family, of course.”

The Minister: “I suppose that it would not be that much of a comfort to see a friendly face in Hell.”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that there will not be any friendly faces in Hell—regardless of what kind of a relationship someone may have had in this world with someone else down there.”

The Minister: “By the way, what would you say to those who believe in other gods?”

The Crackerhead: “I would beseech them to honestly compare what they now want to believe in with what our Heavenly Father has to offer.”

The Minister: “Oh yeah, isn’t there also something in the Bible about telling us to ask and it will be given to us?”

The Crackerhead: “Whoa, where did that come from?”

The Minister: “It just came to me?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, but from where?”

The Minister: “Again, can’t I have an original thought on my own—even if only every once in a while?”

The Crackerhead: “That was hardly an original thought.”

The Minister: “Okay, I’ll rephrase.  Can’t I ever just remember stuff on my own?”

The Crackerhead: “Would it not be better to want to give our Heavenly Father full credit for services rendered
[Proverbs 3:6]—even under questionable circumstances [Proverbs 3:7]?”

The Minister: “I still think He has better things to do than talk to us on a regular basis.”

The Crackerhead: “Which could lead to a big misunderstanding.”

The Minister: “You need to answer the question.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes,
[Matthew 7:7-8] clearly helps to encourage us to believe that if we ask, it will be given unto us, and the absolute truth of the matter truly is that there is really nothing wrong with asking for things [John 16:23-24]—just as long as it is done properly.  For we should ask for things in accordance to our Heavenly Father’s will [James 4:3], and we must be willing to humbly accept the answer—whether favorable or not [Romans 8:28].”

The Minister: “A fairly great many have become convinced that it is God’s will for us to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, and that it is because of a lack of faith that someone is not.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, that is something that has been widely taught
[1 Timothy 6:9-10], and there is a certain amount of truth to it.  For our Heavenly Father does want us to enjoy good health [Matthew 9:20-22], great prosperity [Job 42:12-13], and an abundance of wisdom [James 1:5].  Nonetheless, all it takes is a close examination of the lives of saints long past to see that not everything that He wants for us will be given while we are still a part of this world [2 Corinthians 4:8-12], and this also applies to any question about a lack of faith being the cause of hardships.  For who can righteously accuse any of them of being lacking [Philippians 4:13]?  There is also this to consider: Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? [James 2:5 NIV].

The Minister: “Speaking of making accusations about being lacking, is there anything about what is now being taught that you don’t want to find fault with?”

The Crackerhead: “What I have been given to say is not of me.”

The Minister: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.  It’s of our Heavenly Father.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, it most definitely is, and has He not placed lots of signs for all with eyes that can see to see that changes are obviously needed?”

The Minister: “What do you mean?”

The Crackerhead: “For it is written: Hear the word of the Lord, you Israelites, because the Lord has a charge to bring against you who live in the land: ‘There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgement of God in the land.  There is only cursing, lying and murder, stealing and adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed.  Because of this the land mourns, and all who live in it waste away; but let no man bring a charge, let no man accuse another, for your people are like those who bring charges against a priest.  You stumble day and night, and the prophets stumble with you.  So I will destroy your mother—my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.  Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children.  The more the priests increased, the more they sinned against me; they exchanged their Glory for something disgraceful.  They feed on the sins of my people and relish their wickedness.  And it will be: Like people, like priests.  I will punish both of them for their ways and repay them for their deeds.  They will eat but not have enough; they will engage in prostitution but not increase, because they have deserted the Lord to give themselves to prostitution, to old wine and new, which take away the understanding of my people.  They consult a wooden idol and are answered by a stick of wood.  A spirit of prostitution leads them astray; they are unfaithful to their God.  They sacrifice on the mountaintops and burn offerings on the hills, under oak, poplar and terebinth, where the shade is pleasant.  Therefore your daughters turn to prostitution and your daughters-in-law to adultery.  I will not punish your daughters when they turn to prostitution, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery, because the men themselves consort with harlots and sacrifice with shrine prostitutes—a people without understanding will come to ruin!’
[Hosea 4:1-14 NIV].

The Minister: “That passage has always troubled me—especially the part about the abandonment of the children.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, I used to feel the same way about it, but then it was personally revealed to me that the passage is self-explanatory.  For the absolute truth of the matter truly is that the children will have to suffer the consequences of the lives that they will be living in this world, but they will not be held accountable for their actions—come Judgment Day.”

The Minister: “Just pawns in the plan—huh?”

The Crackerhead: “Such is the essence of faith.”

The Minister: “Not that it has anything to really do with things in this day and age—right?”

The Crackerhead: “The particulars are somewhat different, but the message remains the same.”

The Minister: “What particulars?”

The Crackerhead: “Suicidal bombers, unnecessary warfare, school massacres, rampage murders, a proliferation of gang-related activities, ethnic genocide, white supremacy, rampant drug abuse, political corruption, a complete misinterpretation of the principle of separation of church and state, religious extremism, excessive corporate greed, child abuse, widespread sexual promiscuity, child rapes, homosexuality, AIDS, pandemics, a sharp increase in cases of autism, unconscionable abortions, devastating earthquakes, tsunamis, killer storms, and drought-stricken crop-lands.  Need I go on some more?”

The Minister: “Come on now, there is nothing new about most of that stuff—nor is there all that much unusual about them, neither!”

The Crackerhead: “For it is written: What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.  Is there anything of which one can say, ‘Look!  This is something new?’  It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time
[Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 NIV].  Nonetheless, it this any reason to just ignore it?”

The Minister: “Well, if it true that no eternal damage is done, what is there to be concerned about?”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that it is indeed true that the afflicted in this will not be held responsible for their actions, but who would want to suffer the consequences of being a homosexual dying a slow and very painful death from AIDS if it could be avoided?”

The Minister: “Isn’t there something in the Bible about homosexuality being a result of God giving-up on someone?”

The Crackerhead: “For it is written: For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them.  For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.  For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God, or give thanks; but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.  Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.  Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, that their bodies might be dishonored among them.  For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator,  who is blessed forever.  Amen.  For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.  And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and, although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them
[Romans 1:18-32 NAS].  Nonetheless, it is not for us to judge [John 7:24].  For it may very well be that it is not their fault [John 9:1-3].”

The Minister: “Surely you’re not suggesting that homosexuals are actually born that way?”

The Crackerhead: “Not in the way that many want to believe.  For the absolute truth of the matter truly is that homosexuality is a sin
[Leviticus 18:22], and our Heavenly Father does not create, nor tempt, people to sin—be assured [James 1:13].  Nonetheless, be also assured that even the most vile of sinners can be saved [Isaiah 59:1], and many have been [1 Corinthians 6:9-11]!”
   
The Minister: “Talk about a slippery slope!”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, it is most definitely a sensitive issue.”

The Minister: “And you wouldn’t be exploiting such matters in order to gain more notoriety for yourself—would you?”

The Crackerhead: “Absolutely not
[2 Corinthians 4:5-6].  Besides, it is really not such a sensitive matter if you would be willing to look at it through our Heavenly Father’s eyes [2 Corinthians 5:16].  For everything that is not done (or even just considered) just exactly as He would, is wrongdoing, and all wrongdoing is a sin [1 John 5:17].  Therefore, it is really no more of a problem than any other sin [James 2:10].  For the wages of all sinful activities is eternal spiritual death to those who refuse to utilize the way of escape that has been provided to us [Romans 6:23].”

The Minister: “Nothing like making things seem to be a lot worse than they really are to generate a lot of attention.”

The Crackerhead: “Woe be it to all who would rather stay in the darkness of spiritual ignorance than walk in the Light of our Heavenly Father’s absolute truth
[John 3:19-21].”

The Minister: “Wars and rumors of wars, a total collapse of civilized society, and misery beyond compare—aren’t these things to expect during the last days?”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that we are not as close to the reign of the antichrist as what far too many have been led to believe [Matthew 24:6].”

The Minister: “So, just how long do we have left?”

The Crackerhead: “Several years ago, I was allowed and enabled to calculate that the end of this world as we know it would occur somewhere around the year 2152, but I am perfectly willing to accept that I may be woefully deceived about this.  Either way, it will be at the end of this world as we know it that the 1,000 year reign of Christ over this world will begin Revelation 20:6], and since very few really know when their own end of this world will come to pass
[Luke 2:25-26], who from among us can afford to procrastinate about anything important—let alone about our Spiritual well-being [Matthew 25:1-13]?”

The Minister: “Will there be a rapture?”

The Crackerhead: “I used to believe that there would be such an event in the way that has been widely taught about it, but now I am not so sure.”

The Minister: “What about: ‘Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.  Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, the other left.’
[Matthew 24:40-41 KJV]?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, there appears to be prophetic evidence of a rapture during the time of the antichrist
[1 Corinthians 15:51-53], but since nothing has been personally revealed to me about the subject, I cannot say for sure—either way.”

The Minister: “So, where do we go from here?”

The Crackerhead: “For it is written: If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land
[2 Chronicles 7:14 NIV].

The Minister: “Just exactly what does that mean for us?”

The Crackerhead: “Well, one of the main things is an elimination of all traces of theological humanism, which is more commonly referred to as being deism, from our pulpits and any other venue from which it can be taught.”

The Minister: “Theological humanism?”

The Crackerhead: “Do you know what secular humanism is?”

The Minister: “Yes, it is a philosophy that generally denies that there is any divine intervention in our daily lives.”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that it is no different with theological humanism
[Isaiah 29:13].”

The Minister: “In what way?”

The Crackerhead: “What do you think we have been talking about?”

The Minister: “To tell you the truth, I’ve been just playing along.”

The Crackerhead: “Not always.”

The Minister: “Be that as it may, I still I don’t have a clue about most of this stiff.”

The Crackerhead: “Who is so deaf as the one who does not want to hear
[Mark 4:23-24]?”

The Minister: “Hey, insults aren’t helpful!”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that it was not meant to be as such, but even if it was, what is an insult in comparison to eternal damnation
[Mark 4:25]?”

The Minister: Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again
[Matthew 7:1-2 KJV].

The Crackerhead: “Well, well, you have been listening after all—albeit only a little bit.”

The Minister: “That is something I’ve known for a long, long time.”

The Crackerhead: “Ah yes, I am reminded of a time not so very long ago.  For I used to quote Matthew 7:1-2 quite often before our Heavenly Father made Himself oh so very real to me, and nothing has been the same since
[2 Corinthians 5:17].”

The Minister: “Have you been given the right to judge others?”

The Crackerhead: “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  For that is something that only our Heavenly Father is qualified to do.  Nonetheless, warnings are sometimes given through His chosen servants, and this is what anything that sounds judgmental is really all about
[2 Corinthians 10:3-6].”

The Minister: “I thought Jesus is supposed to be the Judge of the quick and the dead
[2 Timothy 4:13]?”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that everything that I have been given to say about our Heavenly Father and the righteousness of all of His most awesome ways is also about His only-begotten Son—who truly is the Lord Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit.  For the absolute truth of the matter truly is that they are One and the Same with each other
[1 John 5:8].”

The Minister: “How in the world can they do that?”

The Crackerhead: “Nothing of this world can do that.”

The Minister: “Okay, how in any world can they do that?”

The Crackerhead: “I do not know.  For that has not been personally revealed to me, but I do know that it is indeed true because of what has been personally revealed to me
[2 Peter 1:1-4].”

The Minister: “Come on now, what is this really all about—the establishment of another Christian denomination, or maybe even a different religion altogether?”

The Crackerhead: “MAY IT NEVER BE!!!  For the last thing we need is some more confusion.”

The Minister: “What then?”

The Crackerhead: “The introduction of what is to be called Refined Theology, which should be preached from every Christian pulpit.  For our Heavenly Father does not really care about what name is on the sign out front—just as long as the members of each congregation are of One mind
[Philippians 2:2]—His mind, to be exact [1 Corinthians 2:16].”

The Minister: “Refined Theology?”

The Crackerhead: “As in a refinement of the Reformation, which is meant to bridge the gap between Calvinism and Arminianism.”

The Minister: “The Catholics aren’t going like the sound of that.”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, there is much about what I have been given to say that the Catholics will find most distasteful, and that also goes for others not so unlike them.  For most of their fundamental doctrines are based upon the premise that Jesus only opened the door to salvation, and that we must earn the right to enter into our Heavenly Father’s Kingdom of Heaven by faithful observance of their sacraments, which includes the doing of good works in service to others.”

The Minister: “Hey, that doesn’t sound so bad—especially not the part about doing good works in service to others.”

The Crackerhead: “Except for the absolute truth of the matter truly being as it is written: For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them
[Ephesians 2:8-10 NAS].

The Minister: “Yeah, I remember hearing something about Martin Luther having something to say about that, but they still do a lot of good—don’t they?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, it is good to feed, clothe, and shelter the needy, but since what they do is ultimately for the salvation of their own souls, be assured that whatever help they may render is actually Spiritually worthless.  For our Heavenly Father cares more about the reason why we want to do things than what we want to actually do
[Matthew 6:1-4].”

The Minister: “Isn’t there a rather lengthy passage in the Bible about feeding the hungry is the same as feeding the Lord Jesus Christ?”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, it is written: But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne.  And all the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left.  Then the King will say to those on His right, “Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.”  Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, “Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink?  And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You?  And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?”  And the King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”  Then He will also say to those on His left, “Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.”  Then they themselves also will answer, saying, “Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?”  Then He will answer them, saying, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.”  And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life
[Matthew 25:31-46 NAS].  Nonetheless, be assured that this passage is about revealing ourselves to this world as truly being our Heavenly Father’s children by faith by being willing participants in the work that He wants to do in and through us [John 15:16].”

The Minister: “Even the ex-communicated?”

The Crackerhead: “What our Heavenly Father puts together, let no man attempt to tear asunder.  For it is written: For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord
[Romans 8:38-39 NAS].

The Minister: “Okay, you’ve said a lot about works, but what about observance of the sacraments?”

The Crackerhead: “Be assured that attending church services
[Hebrews 10:24-25], tithing [Malachi 3:10], being baptized [Matthew 3:16-17] and participating in what is commonly referred to as the Lord’s Supper, or communion [Luke 22:19-20], are all strongly recommended.  For it is quite pleasing to our Heavenly Father for us to be involved in these things, but be also assured that none of them are required for salvation.”

The Minister: “Oh boy, you are going to upset an awful lot of people with that!”

The Crackerhead: “Yes, it is has been widely taught that observance of the sacraments is most definitely required for salvation—both on the Catholic and the Protestant sides of aisle
[1 Timothy 1:5-7], but the absolute truth of the matter should be quite clear to all who have eyes that can see.  For the true definition of grace is still unmerited favor, which means that there is nothing that can be done to earn it, and nothing certainly includes observance of the sacraments.”

The Minister: “Well, I’m fresh out of questions.”

The Crackerhead: “You have asked more than most.”

The Minister: “How much more have you got?”

The Crackerhead: “Stay tuned.”

The Minister: “So, is that it?”

The Crackerhead: “For now.”

The Minister: “Thank God!”

The Crackerhead: “Indeed.”

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