Let Your Will Be Done: Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Zeke went home to a very empty house.  Quite frankly, he would have felt just alone in the midst of thousands of people, and he did not want to live another day like this.

Oh how Zeke wished he could kill himself, and he really struggled with why he could not.  For not being of sound mind was an exception to the rule that we do not have the right to take our own lives.  However, Zeke could not bring himself to pull the triggers of his father’s old Mossberg.

With every direction he turned inside of the house holding another vivid reminder of his beloved Jenny being gone, Zeke had to leave or make it all of the way to madness.  The weather outside was frightful, but he was way past the point of being concerned about such trivial matters.

Zeke trudged through over a foot of freshly fallen snow to reach a gigantic weeping willow next to a babbling brook not very far from where his father’s still had been.  The stream had supposedly never flooded, nor ran dry for as long as could be remembered, and it had served as the source of crystal clear water that his father had insisted was one of the reasons why his shine was so coveted long before marijuana was added to the recipe.

Zeke had spent hours upon hours staring at the roaring flames and glowing embers of ceremonial fires to see what could be seen.  He had also spent an equal amount of time watching the water between the banks of various streams flow past to forget what he did not want to remember.

It was not working this time, though.  If anything, Zeke’s memories of Jenny were even more intense, and he felt like an idiot for not taking into account that where he had walked to was one of their favorite spots.

The ambient air temperature was bitterly cold—well below zero Fahrenheit, to be more exact, but Zeke paid no heed.  For he was watching in his mind what looked like a home movie of a situation unfamiliar to him in a number of ways.

Not only could Zeke not remember being filmed in such a way, the scenes provided no clues of where the film could have been shot.  Then Zeke caught a glimpse of who he thought was himself in a puddle of water, and his mind went blank.

What Zeke had caught a glimpse of was not himself.  For he had just assumed that it was something from his past that he had been watching since it was in his mind, but the main character of at least that part of the home movie was a little girl not more than three years old.

As Zeke was trying to wrap his mind around what he had watched, the home movie started playing again, and this time he was watching a teenaged girl turning cartwheels in front of what looked like a newly constructed house.  Zeke came to that conclusion by seeing building materials and a portable cement mixer to the side of a concrete slab in front of the two-car garage attached to the house.

Zeke’s mind went blank again, and he was left with more questions than answers.  For Zeke had no idea who he had seen, nor of what significance were the home movies.

Tears starting flowing down Zeke’s face and froze solid between the corners of his mouth and the bottom of his jaw, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment.  For what started his tears flowing was the thought that he had been watching home movies of his beloved Jenny when she was much younger.

“Yes, those were clips from some home movies of Jenny from several years ago.”

“I should have known that You would be somehow involved.”

Zeke did not bother to even try to look at the Man with sparks flying out of His eyes and dressed in a flowing white robe sitting beside him at the base of the gigantic weeping willow.  Zeke could not have seen Him even if he had wanted to.  For Zeke’s eyelids had frozen shut, but he could feel His physical presence and hear that His voice was not coming from inside of his head.

“Who do you think I am?”

“The Lamb of God in the form you took on when You walked among us in the flesh long ago.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I recognized Your voice.”

“Very good.  My sheep know the voice of their Shepherd, but you have been ignoring My calls to come to Me lately.  Why is that?”

“If You are indeed all-knowing, do You not already know?”

“Humor Me and come out with it.”

“Have You not already had enough humor at my expense?”

“What have I done to deserve such ire and disrespect?”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  YOU HEALED HUNDREDS THROUGH ME, AND WHEN I NEEDED YOU TO HEAL MY PRECIOUS WIFE, YOU SAT ON YOUR THRONE AND DID NOTHING!”

“Not true.  Everything I have done has been in accordance to the plan I set into motion long before I laid the foundation of this world, and Jenny’s physical death was consistent with what I did with your namesake, My Prophet Ezekiel.”

“YOU KILLED HER?”

“Not directly, but I am still ultimately responsible for her physical death.  For I set the stage for the cancerous cells to develop in Jenny, and that is what you saw in the home movies.”

“What?”

“The first clip was of Jenny playing in a small puddle of water next to the Picher, Oklahoma home of her grandparents on her father’s side of the extended family.  That puddle was actually groundwater seepage from where tons of lead tailings and chemicals used in the mining and refining process were carelessly buried.  The second clip was filmed at exactly the same spot eleven years later.  Jenny’s father had been hired by the mining company to clean up the mess in order to avoid further legal challenges by the fledgling federal Environmental Protection Agency, and as a reward for doing such a good job, the mining company built him a new house to live in with his family for as long as they liked.  As you saw from the EPA quarantine signs when you went to find some of her family to tell them about Jenny’s physical death, all her father succeeded in really doing was move the waste to other areas around Picher, and Jenny was just one among many who died from a number of different diseases as a result of her father’s efforts to help a mining company keep profits high at all costs.  The number of the deceased includes every member of Jenny’s family who lived in Picher for at least a year.”

How could You just sit idly by while such a great tragedy was unfolding?”

“I was with them every step of their journey in this world, but it is appointed for every person to physically die.  For flesh and blood cannot inherit My Kingdom, and several of them will  be welcome to spend all of eternity with Me there, come Judgment Day.”

“Why is that?  Why do we have to live such a torturous life in this world?”

“You already know that, Zeke.”

“Humor me.”

“Okay, because of how much I love you and how distraught you are, I will play along.  When you were the Mockingbird, did your followers love you?”

“Many loved what I wanted to accomplish, which was restoring the people of the land to their former glory, but most feared what I would do to them if they stood in my way.”

“How would you fare if I ruled as you did?”

“Not very well, but it would be better to die a horrible death than live falsely believing that You will come to my rescue what I needed You to.”

“Enduring your childish insults are indeed tiresome, but I said that I would play along.  I have never wanted things to be as you did.  For I have always wanted to be loved for the goodness of My heart.  Therefore, I made it naturally appear much more likely that I created most, if not all, of mankind to be the objects of My scorn—certainly not My affections.  I did this to prove who would only pretend to love Me out of fear of what might happen to them if they did not or for what they could personally gain if they did.  All along, I have been speaking to everyone since the womb and promising that the pain and suffering of this world will be as nothing in comparison to the glory of spending all of eternity with Me in My Kingdom of Heaven.  Great will be My joy when the time comes for Me to gather unto Myself all who were willing to give Me the full benefit of their considerable doubts, and I will pour out My gratitude upon them for all of eternity.  This world was never meant to last but for a little while in comparison to the whole of eternity, and even sixty or seventy years of great individual suffering does not compare with spending endless days with Me in My Kingdom of Heaven as an heir to all that is Mine in glory.”

“That is easy to say when You are not suffering so.  Have You forgotten how much You dreaded being crucified?”

“No, I have not forgotten, but I was not dreading the physical suffering.  I was dreading having to actually Spiritually die and be separated from My Father and Holy Spirit in order to pay the price in full for the sins of mankind.  We were all dreading it because We had never been apart before, and We were in more agony than can be naturally comprehended until We were complete again.  The physical death of even a sinless person was not enough to fulfill the Law.”

“It was Your Law—was it not?”

“Yes, and that should be most telling to those who want to understand.  For instead of just saying that I love you enough to die for you, I went ahead and actually did it.  I did that for even those who hate the mere mention of My name, and I have known since before creating mankind who they would be.”

“So, You really did create some for glory and all of the rest for destruction—huh?”

“No, and if your mind was not so twisted by your unjustified rage toward Me, you would understand that there is a big difference between predestination and knowing ahead of time who would and would not want to love Me and truly be one of My children by faith.  No, it would not accomplish My purposes to force anyone to spend all of eternity with Me in My Kingdom of Heaven as an heir to all that is Mine in glory against their will.  In many cases, I even made life in this world much easier on the wicked because it is the only life they will live.  I did this so that no one could honestly accuse Me of only caring about those who cared about Me.  Yet, that is exactly what is preached from many a pulpit in My name because that is what millions of itching ears want to hear.  Alas, I hear everything preached in My name from everyone eventually making it into Heaven to Me hating everyone who does not live righteously, with there being thousands of definitions of what living righteously involves.  It has been very hard to endure, but it has been all well worth it.  I would not have created this world and mankind to live in it as they naturally are if such a high price was not well worth paying.”

“Sounds like a personal problem to me.”

“Yes, I take everything very personally, and just because I do not lash out in anger at every instance of disrespect does not mean that I do not care.”

“Well, it is Your plan.”

“Yes, and consistent with it down through the ages is allowing my flock to wander off in ways that seem right to them.  After giving them enough time to digest that there is nothing but thistles and thorns along their own ways, I call them back, but not all always come back to Me.”

“You should have foreseen this before You decided to give mankind freewill.”

“Yes, I gave mankind freewill, but it is actually extremely limited.  In fact, it is only in regards to the choice each individual is given to make whether or not they want to truly be one of My children by faith that they truly have freewill.  In regards to everything else, I am in full control—including even what is naturally considered evil.”

“Hey, it is written in Your Holy Scriptures that You are not the Author of confusion, nor do You tempt anyone to sin!”

“Yes, both of those points are very true, but there is much that is woefully misunderstood.  It is because of the misunderstandings that there is confusion, and if all would just humbly accept what I actually say is absolutely true, there would be no confusion.  In regards to tempting mankind to sin, that is the work of the devil and his demons, but they are under My full control.”

“You are in league with the devil and his demons in order to avoid being guilty of tempting us to sin?”

“That is certainly a cynical way of looking at it, but it is understandable in your current frame of mind.  I created Lucifer to be the highest of the angels, and when he sought to make himself equal to Me, I cast him and his followers out of My Kingdom.  I placed a strong delusion in him, and Lucifer came to be known as Satan, the devil.  I also placed a strong delusion in his followers, and they became known as demons.  Their work has been to exploit the natural weaknesses of mankind in order to make their sins all the more egregious.  No, I did not create mankind to sin, but I did create them without the ability to not sin.  The mess this world has been in is the result of the devil and his demon’s work, and it was a necessary part of My plan.  For I did not want anyone among mankind to think they were worthy in and of themselves to spend all of eternity with Me in My Kingdom of Heaven as an heir to all that is Mine in glory.  It would be different if I was just a vastly superior being imposing My will on the primitive inhabitants of a planet I came upon during My travels around the universe.  For I have created everything that exists apart from Myself, and I have the right to do with everything I have created as I please.  No, do not think that I do not know of, nor care about, the great suffering of mankind in this world.  For  nothing escapes My sight, and there is a great lake in My Kingdom of Heaven that holds all of the tears I have shed over mankind down through the ages.”

“Have You created others living elsewhere in the universe?”

“Whatever I may have done elsewhere has nothing to do with the plans I have made for mankind, and it is because of those plans that no one can righteously accuse Me of evil.  For what is even a hundred years of absolute agony in comparison to countless years of more joy than can be naturally comprehended, and I have never placed more hardship on a person than they could bear.”

“You could have done a much better job of being clearer in Your Holy Scriptures.  For Romans 10:13 certainly seems to be talking about sin, but adding hardship to it changes everything.”

No, it most definitely does not, but it is talking about only the unpardonable sin, which is the rejection of Me and My Gospel.  Demonic doctrine has twisted the meaning to include forgivable sins to undermine the integrity of My Scriptures and make those weak in faith think that My grace is insufficient.  For many have been led to believe that those who truly have My Holy Spirit living within them will not sin because I cannot be in the presence of sin, which is not at all true.  After all, is it not documented in the Book of Job that Satan Himself came before Me while I sat on My throne in Heaven?”

“Yes, but many have been led to believe that Job is a fictitious book.  Besides, there is much confusion concerning the differences between You, our Heavenly Father, and His Holy Spirit.”

Only to those who do not really know Me.  For there are no differences between Us.  We are truly One and the same.  I am appearing before you now as the Lord Jesus Christ, but I am also Your Heavenly Father and His Holy Spirit.  I was the supposedly angry God ruling over the Old Covenant, and I am the gracious God ruling over the New Covenant.  I assure you that those under the Law of the Old Covenant were just as much under My grace as those now under the New Covenant are still under My Law.  The only thing that changed was the foregoing of individual sacrifices because I paid the price in full to redeem all who would but humbly accept Me as being their own personal Lord and Savior.”

It is commonly taught among the Southern Baptists that once a person is truly saved and baptized, they are saved no matter what, but what is written in Hebrews seems to refute that.”

“The first thing to get straight is that when a person accepts Me as their Lord and Savior, it is as if they are saved, but it is not until they are welcomed into My Kingdom, come Judgment Day, that they are truly saved, and even then, everyone is free to leave My Kingdom when they want.  The result of that would be their destruction, of course.  For apart from Me there is no life, and I will not be with those who do not want to be with Me after their time in this world has to come to an end.”

So, even those who have truly accepted You as their own personal Lord and Savior are still being judged up until the end?”

“No, none of My children by faith will be judged.”

“What about all of the billions down through the ages who never had an opportunity to accept You as their Lord and Savior?”

“As I have said before, I have been with everyone since the womb, and no one has been deprived of abundant opportunities to accept Me as their Lord and Savior before their time as a part of this world came to an end.  There are exceptions to that rule covering stillborn and aborted babies, and those who were not physically born with the ability to understand.  All of them go straight into My Kingdom, but even they have the freedom to leave at any time they wish.”

I am sorry, I still need some more clarification on the unpardonable sin.”

“The unpardonable sin is the rejection of Me and My grace even after fully understanding enough of what I wanted them to.  There is no redemption for this.”

“You sure make it hard on us, and I ain’t nearly as tough as You say.”

“Sure you are.  For your anger toward Me abates as we speak, and I am grateful.”

“No, don’t you go trying to suck me back in by being nice and humble!”

“Would you rather have Me indignant?”

“At least that would be more honest.”

“How so?  For I created you as you naturally are, and I subjected you to all sorts of grossly unfair situations in the eyes of this world.  In fact, it would be most dishonest of you to not feel anger, and yet, you still want to give Me the full benefit of your considerable doubts.  This is exactly the kind of live that I wanted to receive from mankind.”

“That sounds awfully good of me, but is that not inconsistent with your Holy Scriptures?”

“How so?”

“Well, they appear to make it abundantly clear that there is nothing good about us apart from You.”

“Yes, that is true—both in regards to what was written and it being indeed true that there is nothing good about mankind apart from Me.  For none of mankind could love Me unless I loved them first.”

“Therefore, how could our love for You be of any satisfaction if it indeed came from You to begin with?”

“Because you could refuse to love Me back, and considering how apparently bad I have been to you, it naturally makes more sense that you would hate Me and never want to give Me any benefit of a doubt about anything.  Hence, the very special kind of love that I have always wanted to receive from mankind.  For it is relatively easy to love someone who can provide for your every need and always wants to give you what you want, but it takes a very special kind of love to want to truly love someone you believe is treating you quite badly.  No, I am not in need of such a love.  I am not in need of anything.  For I have always been, and forever will be, absolutely complete in and of Myself.  Nonetheless, I wanted to receive a special kind of love, and I created mankind so that I could receive it.  It is because of this that mankind can be confident that I do not delight in the destruction of anyone, and it is only because of exerting more effort rejecting My advances than humbly accepting Me as their own Lord and Savior that anyone will perish.”

“Well, I have truly accepted You as My Lord and Savior, and I am very sorry for throwing such a fit.”

“You were forgiven before you even thought to throw it.”

“Okay, I am ready to leave this prison of a world now.”

“Not yet.  For I still have more to accomplish in and through You for My glory and Your ultimate good.”

“You mean to tell me that You are going to dump more…um…manure on my head before I can get cleaned up for eternity?”

“That all depends on you.”

“What?”

“Is there not something more on your mind that you have yet to openly expressed about being able to do a better job of planning your life than I did?”

“Okay, yeah, but I am no longer angry with You.”

“Yes, but do you not still wonder what your life would have been like if things had of gone in accordance unto your will?”

“I am sorry.  Just more proof of how naturally foolish I can be—huh?”

“Nonetheless, let your will be done.”